LIFE=GRAND

May flowers always line your path and sunshine light your day.
May songbirds serenade you every step along the way.
May a rainbow run beside you in a sky that's always blue.
And may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through.
Irish Blessing


What a beautiful day! The sun is shining and it is finally warm! I love this kind of weather. I wish it could be like this all the day! Spring and Fall are definitely my favorite seasons! They aren't hot, but they aren't cold either! Today I decided that I have been cooped up inside for way to long. I needed to be in the sunshine. I decided to go sit out by our pool (which is still covered and gross looking) and study for my test. 2 hours later and a fairly decent first sunburn of the year I felt a ton better. It is amazing how much better your life is when you aren't cooped up in a drab apartment all day. I can't wait for it to be warm all the time. 


Yesterday was my last day with my 2nd graders. It was so hard to leave them. I was fighting back tears the entire day. This was one of the greatest things I have ever done. My students were darling and taught me so much. At the beginning of the semester I didn't think that I was cut out to be a teacher. I was honestly contemplating changing my major (I wasn't going to because I am to far into it). After this last month, I know for a fact that teaching is for me. I loved every minute of it, even the temper tantrums, bathroom accidents, sicknesses, and attitudes that those students gave me. It is amazing that you can become attached to someone in such a short amount of time. All my little kids kept asking if I had to go and asked if they could just go with me. It is reassuring that they loved me that much. I didn't mess up their lives. =) I will miss my kids so much, but I am looking forward to my next adventure. 


For the next couple of weeks I have to go back to my classes at BYU. Luckily the semester is almost over. I hate going up to campus because I feel like I don't belong anymore. As soon as the semester is over I will be heading back to Wyoming to work for the summer. I have a lot of plans for this summer and I am excited. I will be going to quite a few weddings of some very close friends. One of them is one of my best friends from home, Lexie. She has always been there for me. We have been friends since we were little! We were always playing at each other's house (she lives down the street from me). I am so excited for her and her soon to be husband! 

Super old picture of me and Lexie

Christie and I! 

Another wedding is for one of my best friends in Provo. Christie and I have been friends since freshman year. We lived in the same complex last year and hung out all the time. Unfortunately this year we have opposite schedules so I don't get to see her much. She is going to make a beautiful bride and I am excited to see this new adventure in her life. I have more pictures of the two of us but for some odd reason they won't open! Oh the memories Christie and I have. Newspaper, "Boots", Lyle, Pumpkins, Library Movies, and Hitch. Just to name a few! 

Christie, Jordyn and I. Newspaper Prank!

The other wedding that I will be going to his my freshman roommates. Jordyn and I were inseparable our first year at BYU. We did everything together. Unfortunately she transferred to BYUH because she wanted to be closer to her family and the major she wanted was there (She is from Hawaii and is a Marine Biology Major). I am lucky enough to be going to her wedding in Hawaii in June. I can't wait. I haven't seen her in 2 years! I will be going to Hawaii in less than 80 days! AHHH!!! Now I just need to buy a plane ticket. 

John, Me, Jordyn, Peter

For the rest of the summer I will be working at FMC (hopefully) and hanging out with my family. We of course will be making a lot of trips to Utah to see my sister and her family. I will also come a couple of times and hang out with some friends that are staying here in Provo. It is also my birthday in July. I will be 21. Wow! Harry Potter comes out in July so I will be going to that of course! And I will get to see some friends that i haven't seen since freshman year! I am so excited for this summer! 


I am still waiting to here about New Zealand. Hopefully I will hear next week, but it could possibly be the next. We will see what happens. 


This weekend is conference! I am so excited! I love conference so much. 


Oh I forgot to mention that I won a new TV! It is a 40" Flat Screen HDTV! I love it so much! MOVIE PARTY IN MY APARTMENT! haha jk! 


Life is good! 

Roadblocks.

"When you come to a roadblock, take a detour."


Roadblocks. I feel like that I am constantly running into roadblocks. At the beginning of the semester I was trying to decide when I needed to get everything ready for grad school. I started thinking about where I was going to do and what I was going to do with my life. BAM I ran into a roadblock. I had the opportunity to do a study abroad in New Zealand. It sounded wonderful. I took the detour and reconfigured the next couple years of my future. Today was my New Zealand interview. There are 30 girls that apply. They will take anywhere from 15 to 22 girls. I feel like my interview went well. i wasn't nervous, I answered all the questions quickly, I was confident. I seriously feel like I might get picked. BAM ran into another road block. This study abroad trip is slowly falling apart. I was supposed to find out next week if I got accepted so I could register for classes. Now I have been told it won't be until the first but maybe the second week of April. My classes are going to be full. I need to know by next Tuesday. I was also told that I might not be able to do my TELL practicum. That is the one thing that made me want to go to New Zealand. Now I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing that I planned is working out.  I don't know if I take another detour or if I still go to New Zealand (if I get accepted). I just don't know what to do anymore. Is this Heavenly Father's way of telling me that I shouldn't go? I felt like I needed to go but now I'm not so sure. I hate not knowing what my future has in store for me. I just want to have a plan. 

Kick Off Your Sunday Shoes!

For the first time I watched the movie Footloose. I had always heard about it and I think I have the sound track on my itunes but I had never actually seen the movie. I decided to get it from netflix. It has been sitting on my headboard for a couple of weeks because I haven't had time to watch it, but tonight I made time. 

I love this movie! It was so funny and entertaining. Given the chance I would have totally dated Ren McCormack. I mean what's not there to like. He is cute, he can dance, and he has a SWEET car! =) 

Normally I hate 80s music, but not on this movie! It was great! 

To my grandmother: Evva Mae McNeil Atkinson

Three years ago today, my dear Grandmother, Evva Mae McNeil Atkinson passed away. This was a really hard time for me. I can still remember the shock when my dad told me that night when I got home from play practice. I felt like something was wrong all day, but I hadn't realized that she had died. I remember just collapsing on the floor by the front door and just crying. I'm pretty sure I cried the entire night. I went to school the next day and was just devastated the entire time. I couldn't believe she was gone. I was angry that she was gone. I missed a lot of school the next couple of weeks. I just wanted to be with my family. I didn't think that anyone understood. She was the only grandma that I ever knew. I loved her so much. There was a really special bond between the two of us. I was the youngest grandchild, and she was my only grandma. We had the same middle name. I loved to spend time with her.

A couple of weeks before she died, another member of my family died. I don't remember who, probably some distant cousin. We were getting ready to go to the funeral and I got really sick. My mom and I stayed home. That was the last time that my dad saw my grandma. I have always been heartbroken that I didn't get to see her that one last time. I can't remember the last time that I saw my grandma before she died. I can't remember the last time that I told her I loved her and gave her a big hug. I miss her so much. Not going to that funeral has been one of my biggest regrets.

There are so many things that I wish I could tell her. I wish was here so she could see how much I have accomplished. I miss how stubborn and independent she was. I miss seeing her asleep in her chair with a pepsi can sitting next to it. I miss the radio or tv blaring every time we went over there. I miss the mismatched furniture and the old house. I miss her uncoordinated clothes and the curlers in her hair. I miss her so much.

I wish I had just one more opportunity to talk to her and tell her how much I love her. If I could rewind time, I would, so I could go back and be there that last time my dad saw her.

Don't get me wrong, even though I am sad that she is gone, it was time. She had been alone for a very long time. It was time for her to go and she knew it. She is in a better place with her dear husband, whom I never had the chance of meeting, Ivan Atkinson.

My grandmother was an amazing woman! She raised 5 amazing children, one of them being my father. She was willing to help anyone that needed it. Every time we gave her a present she would always put it in a box to give to someone else. She always said that she didn't need it, but there was probably somebody else that did. She was willing to give what little she had to someone else. She has always been such an amazing example to me. I want to be just like my grandma.

After my grandma died, the family went through her things. In one of the boxes I found a charm to a necklace. It was broken, but I knew that I could fix it. I took it home and fixed it and put it on a necklace with a heart. I then added a safety pin to the necklace, you see my grandma never went anywhere without a safety pin pinned to her dress. I wear this necklace almost every day. It reminds me of my grandma and that she is always right there with me. Whenever I am having a hard time I just grab that necklace and remember that if my grandma could make it through all of her trials, I can make it through mine.

Sadly I don't have any pictures of the two of us on my computer. =(

So this is for you grandma. I love you so much. I know that we have an eternal family and that I will be able to see you again. I am very grateful for this. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me. I miss you and I love you.

I have a scripture marked in my scriptures that reminds me of my grandmother.
Matthew 19: 21
"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven [...]"

This was my grandmas favorite hymn.

28 Kisses!

This video came up on my pandora today. 

The average person has 28 first kisses.... WHAT?!?! I think this is a little over the top. Well it is for me. I have never kissed anyone, so I guess that makes me not average, well according to this video anyways. 


Since I have now disclosed that detail in my life I guess I can tell you the rest. I am 20 years old, I have never had a boyfriend, I have never held hands with a boy. I have always been considered the boys "friend" or little sister. It happens and there isn't much I can do about it. I guess I just haven't found "a" one yet. I am super shy and it takes me a long time to open up to someone. If I do open up to them it is a big deal. 


One day I will find a boy that likes me for who I am. When? I have not the slightest idea, but it will probably take me by surprise. Somewhere out there is someone that will love me for eternity and I just need to be patient until it happens. For now, I'm okay with being single. I'm going to enjoy life and do what I want! 


"Sometimes the two people most meant for each other, are the last two to realize it." 


"Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while. So when you are lonely, remember it's true. Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you!"


"Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry."


"Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will come after you."


"Success is going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm." -Winston Churchill. 


Just some cute quotes that I have saved on my computer. 

You don't run with the crowd

You go your own way

You don't play after dark

You light up my day

Got your own kind of style

That sets you apart

Baby, that's why you captured my heart

I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in

And this world doesn't know what you have within

When I look at you, I see something rare

A rose that can grow anywhere (grow anywhere)

And there's no one I know that can compare

What makes you different, (alright) makes you beautiful (alright)

What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me

In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need

You're all I need, oh girl

What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

Hey, yeah yeah yeah

You got something so real

You touched me so deep (touched me so deep)

You see material things

Don't matter to me

So come as you are

You've got nothing to prove

You've won me with all that you do

And I wanna take this chance to say to you

What makes you different, (alright, yeah yeah) makes you beautiful (alright)

What's there inside you, (alright) shines through to me

In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need

You're all I need, oh girl

What makes you different, makes you beautiful

You don't know (you don't know) how you touched my life (touched my life)

Oh in so many ways (so many ways) I just can't describe

You taught me what love is supposed to be

It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me (so beautiful)

Oh yeah, yeah

What makes you,

What makes you different, (what makes) makes you beautiful (to me)

What's there inside you, (there shines) shines through to me

In your eyes I see, all the love I'll ever need

You're all I need, oh girl

What makes you different, makes you beautiful to me

Everything you do is beautiful (so beautiful)

Love you give shines right through me (shines right through to me)

Everything you do is beautiful (ooh, ooh ooh ooh oh)

Oh, you're beautiful to me (to me) 

Dating Dilemmas..

Disclaimer: Please don't think that I am writing this blog because I want to complain about what is going on. It was just something that has been on my mind, and the mind of my friends a lot! I just wanted to get it out so I could make some sense of it all. I AM NOT WRITING THIS TO GET A DATE. 
Dating... the dreaded D word. This has been the talk amongst almost everyone I know the past couple of weeks. I feel like I am constantly surrounded by talk of dating. When I am with a group of friends this is always what we end up talking about. What do boys hate that girls do, what do girls hate that boys do, what if someone did this on a date, etc etc. Stake Conference was even about dating.It is everywhere! Dating is on everyone's mind, yet there is an extreme lack of it! I feel as though people are not going on dates. I can tell you right now that I'm not. I just don't get it. 


I could easily place the blame on the boys because they are the ones that aren't asking the girls, but that just wouldn't be fair. I think that is everyone's fault. 


First to the boys. Boys, why are you not asking girls out on dates? What does a girl have to do to get your attention? Let me tell you something, if a girl texts you all the time, she probably likes you. If she asks you to hang out, she wants to hang out with you. If you catch her looking at you, she probably thinks your cute (or you have something stuck in your teeth, haha jk). Come on, it is not rocket science. I understand that there is that fear of rejection, but it goes both ways. REJECTION IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. Don't be afraid! Just go for it. 


Now to the girls. Come on girls, when a boy asks you out don't be brutal. Have confidence in yourself! Don't be super shy, but don't be obnoxious either! I understand it's a hard balance, but you are smart, you can figure it out. Another thing, don't talk badly about the boys! They are trying. Put yourself out there girls, don't be hermits! Girls, do not think that after one date that this boy is your EC. Don't start planning your wedding right away. This will push the boy away. 


Everyone needs to be open minded. Remember there is not one specific person that you are meant to be with (this is not Saturday's Warrior people.) Keep an open mind. We are young, we are supposed to be having fun with our friends! 


I will admit right now that I need to do better. It is something that I am working on. I need to be more social and outgoing. I don't need to be doing homework constantly and I need to have more fun! I need to learn to not be shy and to express the feelings that I have. 


Tell me your feelings on this topic. 
Boys, what do you appreciate that girls do? What do you want a girl to do when she is interested in you? Please let us know. 
Girls same question but switch the girls to boys! 


Side note: I know I posted this on an earlier blog, but just because I love it and it is on dating. Everyone should read this amazing talk. Dating versus Hanging Out. There is a difference! 


'Night. 

Clowns, Dreams, and Second Graders!

Brother Borup (he is in the bishopric in my singles ward)
has a clown cam on his iPhone! He took this last night at ward prayer.
I love it, but then again I don't because clowns give me the creeps. 

“The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.”


I thought everyone would enjoy hearing my crazy dreams from the other night. They were so bizarre. I seriously could not tell if they were real or if they were dreams. 


Okay, dream number one (names except for mine have been changed to protect the identity of those that do not know they were dreamt about)


Preface: This was before my dream. I had just decided to go to bed. I had just turned out my lights and had decided to watch a movie on my laptop. I didn't think I had fallen asleep but apparently I did. Okay on to the dream. 


DREAM 1: I had a dream that I was with three friends. Two of my friends left and I was left with one friend. I happen to kind of like this friend. We were talking and I told him that one day I will have a boyfriend that when people see us together they will say our names, like oh Emily and so and so this, and so and so and Emily this, etc. He looked at me and said you know I could make that happen. I looked at him all confused. Then he told me to forget about it and just go with the flow. He then proceeded to grab my hand and we went to church, where everyone started talking about us (mission fulfilled)! haha 


I woke up right after this and was all sorts of confused. I decided to just forget about and go back to sleep. I decided to check my facebook one last time before going to bed (This is key to the next dream). Again I felt that I had fallen asleep yet. I was wrong again. 


DREAM 2: So in this dream I had decided to check my facebook right before I went to bed, (deja vu). When I opened it I had a message that someone had posted on my wall. I went and looked at it and it was from the boy from the previous dream. I read it and it said something along the lines of, "I'm so glad you are in my life. You are an amazing person! I love spending time with you! Good luck with your teaching tomorrow you will do great! I will be waiting to hear how it went! Love ya!" 


In my dream it didn't phase me at all. I felt like it was normal, but then I woke up and thought wait what. I just checked facebook and there wasn't a message, or was there? I hurried and got on, and there was no such message. 


Bizarre huh! The reason I put the quote at the beginning of this post is because I feel that way. I wish that this dream would come true. Could you say amazing. Does anyone have any  interpretations of these dreams?!


Anyway, today was my first time teaching by myself! It went really well. I taught my darling 2nd graders about homophones! I just love my kids so much! I didn't think that I would get so attached, but I was wrong! They have such cute personalities and say the cutest things. 


Here are my favorite conversations today. I'm just going to put initials so that I can protect them! 


C (boy): "I just can't focus today, my brain won't let me. Do you know why my brain won't let me?" 
Me: No C, why not. 
C: Well you see I was struck my lightning on my way to school today! My arm is still tingling." 


F(girl): "How old are you?" 
Me: I'm 20 
F: Wow you are big. My mom is 25 she isn't that much bigger than you. 
*F is an ESL student, I think by big she meant old. At least I hope so. Except I don't want to be old either! Hmm....

C (boy, same boy as above): Girls get in less trouble than boys. Do you know what that tells me? Boys and Girls were NOT made for each other. 


Those are just a few of the lovely things my students say! 


Well goodnight my few blog readers (there aren't very many of you). Have a great day tomorrow! 


Oh I almost forgot. Saturday was the last BYU home game. It was against Wyoming, go Cowboys! The student section did a flash mob! It was EPIC!!!!!! I will post the video on this post, and maybe some pictures later this week. ENJOY! 

This is just a cute clip from 500 days of summer! It was a song about dreams so I decided to use it! =)

I love 2nd grade!

Yesterday was my first day in 2nd grade! I was all sorts of nervous, but I LOVE IT! My kids are just so cute and so funny. I am loving getting to know all of their personalities and little quirks! I just can't help but smile when I am around them! They just all make my day! 

Here are some of the funny things they have said. I love that they aren't afraid to say what is on their minds. 

* This little girl is named Emeri! She saw my name tag today and said your name is Emily. My name is Emeri. Emeri, Emily they are almost the same, well not really, but they are, but not! 

*Another little girl! How old are you? Me: I'm 20. Girl: Wow you are kind of old, are you married? Me: Nope! Girl: Oh well you probably should be, but I guess that is your decision. I'm going to be married way before I get to be 20 years old. 

* During their morning routine, while they were all sitting on the rug. The teacher, looked under this kids desk and found an empty 1 pound thing of Turkey. She asked him what it was and he said he got hungry so he brought it for a snack when they went to the planetarium. (I don't know when they went). The teacher started laughing and said wait a minute you were sitting by me, why didn't you share with me and how did I not know that you had that. We all laughed for a couple minutes about that one! 

*During Math I was helping this little girl. She was subtracting 17-8. She told me the answer was 8. I asked her what 8+8 was and she told me 1. I looked at her and she said, oh I mean 9. I looked at her again and she started laughing and fell on the floor! Then I asked her again and she said that it was 16 and then she easily solved the problem (the answer was 9 not 8). Then she said I just get crazy sometimes! 

*One little boy informed me that it is better to have a healthy breakfast like oatmeal, instead of diet coke or mountain dew because those make you crazy! 

Since it is March, each student has a leprechauns. I can't remember how many times I was told that a leprechaun was sitting on my head! They have so much fun writing about them and telling me about them. 

My 2nd graders are just so cute and I love them too death! =) 

Growing Up=YIKES

Today has been one of those, I'm starting to get older (growing up) days. For the first time in two years, I saw a boy from my freshman ward on campus. He is back from his mission. That just seems impossible to me that they are coming back already. For the last two years there have been very few boys, my age, at BYU, and now they are back. TRIPPY. I knew that they would come back, just not so soon. Okay, so it's been two years, but wow! haha

Today is also my last day of classes (besides Math and Health) on campus for a month. Starting tomorrow I will be teaching second grade! Again, I knew this was coming, but not this soon! I'm not ready to be a teacher and be responsible for other people's children! What if I mess up. I'm not ready to be a grown up. Tomorrow I will officially be Miss Atkinson! Weird! Maybe I will be a cool teacher and have the students call me Emily because Miss Emily makes everything too official.

My roommate Tausha and I have talked about this a couple of times the last couple of weeks. We were noticing that a lot of the NBA players are our age! I remember thinking they were sooo old when I was little. Want to know a secret? They aren't old. Some are older than me, some are my age, and some are YOUNGER than me! WHAT??!?! I seriously never thought this would happen! What is happening in the world. There must be some rift in the time space continuum (I don't know if those are the words I want).

Also, my nephew turns 9 on Friday! He can't be that old already?! He informed me the other day, when he found out I was 20 (21 in July) that he had no idea I was that old! I just love that kid!

Okay, so I'm not old! I just hate the fact that I am growing up and that I have to make so many life decisions! I miss the days of just worrying about who to play with at recess or what book to get at the library! 

Anyways, today has been a good day! I handed in my massive management paper! Hallelujah! Good to get that out of the way. By the time I finished it, it was 18 pages long! I also got the first part of my New Zealand application filled out. My liaison teacher has okayed me to go and I have asked one professor for a letter of recommendation. All that is left is one more letter and an essay that I need to write. I will officially know if I am going at the end of the month! YIKES. I have the mindset that if I get accepted then that is great and I will go. If I don't get accepted though it will be okay. There is a reason and I will figure it out! Tonight is also the basketball game! Should be good, hopefully! Brandon Davies got kicked off the team yesterday, so hopefully everyone steps it up so we can pull off a win!

Well I guess I better start studying for my math test!